Tuesday, February 26, 2008

purpose creation

i want to know the world is big but feel like it is small. i want to leave the confinement of walls and go somewhere where nature commands my full attention. i want to be in a place that forces me to adjust my comfort zone. i want to try to communicate with someone with words foreign to both of us. i want to explore everything and everypart with someone, but only one. i want to know lots of people, yet be the only one. i want music to flood my ears and be the soundtrack inwhich i move to. i want my body to be an object reflecting all that i am and experience. i want to sit and ponder in the setting of the sun as my mind contemplates and dissects inifinite thoughts. i get overwhelmed with what i could and should know and do, but at the same time feel the exhiliration of possiblities and consequences. i want to cry and laugh all in one conversation. i want to forget about me as i figure out who i am. i want to be concerned for another. i want my perspective to be altered.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

bucket seat life

funny how discussions in cars, can be life changing, what is about leather seats, confining space, potential for danger, ability to escape, speakers and a stickshift that inspire proposals, freedom, depression, private conversations, affection, pondering and a sense of home. not unusual experience, today i was inspired to have a revelation. not necessarily about the world, in fact quite the opposite, it was as if today i realized everything the world already knew. my beliefs could be considered unique and demanding of strength. however, sometimes this presents a double contradiction within myself. contradiction of what i take pride and acceptance in, yet still a desire to be open-minded. i didn't think i had fear, i didn't think i cared. but being open-minded doesn't mean spineless or valueless. in fact doesn't take the same character to accept as it does to believe. it all comes down to respect and value. i can't pretend that i am figuring it all out. i dont' need to, its already been done for me and on good authority. with love and refreshing consistancy i can stand a little taller.