desert wizard

i have a brother. and he has this life. i am not sure how long he would say it has been. at times i am sure it seemed like a darker eternity in a box with only one window of life. yet, i like to think somehow he didn't know, but had an inkling that he would take it to worlds of worlds. i have a brother who has a deeper understanding. it wasn't always so, though his demeanor perhaps would say otherwise. he has lived a life that wasn't always calculated or planned with efficiency but allowed him to create a space to call home that spoke of his own. he is good at a few things and admires the good in all. he is oblivious and pensive. he has mastered a rare form of thoughtfulness. a picture of rocks, a crack in the ground, the nose of a dog and the eyes of a girl. life electrified.

rainbow pajamas

as i walk around the streets, i see bodies i covet and bodies i despise. i see soft touches, awkward stances, teenage curiousity, solemn confidence and restless struggling. it is during this wandering that my mind sways thoughts together, piecing them into stories and situations. sometimes parts are implemented and fun is had. other times they pass away and are put back into the patience category. i question my worthiness or ability to play the created role i so want to play. at times i feel rushed with a sense of forclosure but then there are those other times, when i am sitting on a couch that cups you in and the light is lit just enough and the music plays the sound i want to feel. i realize that it is about finding someone who makes you smile as you lie there, makes you eager for more, who makes you laugh in one move, and who knows there is more behind the word "good". it as those times you feel slight but influential, gentle but powerful, intelligent but learning, innocent but comfortable, settled but moving forward. and i know that all those moments of piecing is collaging together the path to be taken.

Happy all my life

dear heavenly father, i thank thee.